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Accepting Reality: It Is What It Is

Writer's picture: Yammie ChinYammie Chin

Updated: Sep 5, 2022


An image of a person with hands open wide as though he or she is embracing the sun rays

Inevitably, you and I all experience pain in life. Pain is a natural occurrence that signals something is wrong. However, the way we choose to deal with pain has a significant impact on our overall well-being.


Choosing to ignore or rejecting certain kinds of pain or using unhealthy coping habits can minimise the discomfort in the short term. However, when one does not accept reality, pain turns into ongoing distress.


Radical acceptance is a distress tolerance skill that aims to keep pain from turning into ongoing distress.


An image with the a leaves background and the following text: Radical acceptance, accept the reality as it is. This feelings will psss, and I will be okay. I can’t control the situation, but I can choose how to respond to it. I’ve dealt with difficulties before, I can manage this too.

Examples of radical acceptance coping statements:


💪🏻 The feelings will pass, and l’ll be okay


💪🏻 I can’t control the situation, but I can choose how to respond to it


💪🏻 I’ve dealt with difficulty before, and I can manage this too


Here are some steps to practice radical acceptance:


🌿 Observe that you are fighting against reality (e.g., “it shouldn’t be like this”)


🌿 Recognise the reality as it is (e.g., “it is what it is”)


🌿 Examine the causes of the situation (e.g., “this is how it happened.”)


🌿 Figure what you can and cannot control


🌿 Focus how you can effectively cope with the situation and take care of yourself


🌿 Acknowledge that life can be worth living even when there is pain


🌿 Learn to live in the present moment


Always choose to focus on the things you can control and take care of yourself 💜


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